I disappeared last week to set up a secret Duvel brewing facility at Saas Fee,
And Akkon has followed up this week, at Saas Grund.
I am sure Akkon will have his own stories, but here are a few of mine.

I was well prepared for my trip by intelligence,
who informed me that the area of Saas Fee is controlled by five families.

On arriving at Saas Fee, I found myself in the middle of a bizaar event.
There were groups of approximately 10 to 15 people going around town.
All were dressed in fantastic costumes, playing brass instruments or the drums.
The groups were anything from Egyptians to Aliens,
And at first they appeared to be playing very badly.

As I followed one of these bands, I noticed they made regular stops at various establishments.
Well, remembering my secret mission, I decided to try and find out some more information about these groups.
So I followed a band into one of these establishments to try and engage them in communication.

To my horror – I found myself in a “tavern”, or bar. Naturally I was shocked,
But I did not want to look out of place, so promptly ordered a beer.
No Duvel – that was a relief – or the whole mission would have been blown!
But it appears that I was not the only one with the idea of making a brewing facility!
There were tons of local breweries!

So I tried my art of conversation.
That was a mistake.
It appears our universal translators don’t work very well in Saas Fee,
And this made communication somewhat hard.
However, I found by buying one of these “musicians” a beer,
I could normally get some form of communication in,
Before the beer was drunk.

Anyway, just as I was getting the hang of all this, The band picked up their instruments, and left.
Well – I thought this a bit rude, but I wasn’t going to let all that beer go to waste,
so I stayed to watch over their drinks,
Until the glasses were all empty. “hick”.

I felt a bit more investigation was due, and on leaving I noticed a peculiar occurrence.
The bands seemed to be getting better at playing their musical instruments.
The painful sound of what seemed to be a cat being slowly strangled to death by fluffy
appeared to be making way for a more pleasant melody.
I have no idea as to why they appeared to be playing a more tolerable tune. "Hick"

As I continued on my investigations, I found a very large number of local drinking establishments,
A larger number of local brews,
And a huge group of colourful players by the Town hall,
who even seemed to have Christmas lights wrapped around their tuba’s, and glowing objects inside of the tuba’s.
It was by now very late, and I noticed many of the band stamping their feet on the ground
in an effort to keep warm in the freezing mountain air.

Now again, you know me, I didn’t want to appear out of place,
so I felt obliged to stamp my feet, and even clap my hands occasionally.
It MAY have looked like a jig, a little dance, but I assure you, it was just to blend in.

And the pictures look far worse than it was.

The main thing I found is THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO TRUTH
to the rumour that each of the five bands were made up from cousins of one of the five families of Saas Fee.
Even more scandalous is the suggestion that you can only marry someone within your own band.
It took a lot of pain on my behalf to dismiss this rumour, after I voiced it a little too loudly in one of the drinking holes.

It appears that the bands are from all over the region, and this was a warm up.
Akkon may just catch the “full bifter”, or the full performance, while he is there.

Well, that was enough for one night,
And I had a few uneventful days scouring the mountains for suitable sites.
Tuesday I thought I had made a break through.
So I headed off in the evening with a large wooden device – locals call it a toboggan
To have a closer look.

Well, the contraption seemed cumbersome – not heavy, just awkward.
So I stopped for a few more of the local specialties to catch my breathe on my journey.
When I got to the top of the mountain – as dusk was falling,and the stars were coming out,
I found many other people had the same idea.

Well, I was a bit annoyed at this, and decided to go back to town.
It was only about 5km.
I was then very thankful to two things.
One was the “toboggan” or sledge.
This miraculous device seemed to make it much easier to go down hill on snow.

Second was the two beers I had helped num (stop) the pain
when I fell off the sledge
on the very first slope
And broke a rib.

The thing I was annoyed at was in my haste to reach the top of the mountain,
I had forgotten my flight suit
And my civilian clothes seemed to let all the snow up my trousers,
as I tried desperately to at first steer
Then panic stop
My sledge.

But don’t worry
Because it was only five kilometres
In pitch black
Along narrow paths
With a miner’s light on my head.

I felt getting down as quickly as possible was a good idea,
Except for the customary stopping at the bar ¾ of the way down.

On Thursday, in desperation, I turned to neighbouring Zermatt.
A larger area, I set about trying to find “the ideal location” for our brewery.
This involved going as quickly as possible around the area.
By the end of the day,
my calculations lead me to the fact I travelled 50km / 30 miles in one day.

I was shattered.
So I had some Struddel (local specialty of pastry and apples)
And went to bed
After a very large meal with beer.

So, what all this means is I didn’t find the perfect spot for our brewery.
We will have to see if Akkon can find a good spot,
Or maybe ask for a few volunteers to have a look on suitably close planets.

In the mean time, I bought back a few local specialties
And will try my best to be at Sunday’s meeting
Where everyone can indulge
Personally – I recommend the Wheat beer

P was walking through the corridors of the Diablo.

Many things had changed since the Diablo headed towards the temple. ´During the last months there hadn´t been much time to settle down and reflect about the things that happened... Steeler, being the main spirit in defeating the Dark Fleet was now aiding High Command , and Tobi was the new Commander.

He stepped into the Cantina and sat down next to Raider , the new XO. He grinned and repeated the sentence that already scratched on P´s nerves.

'Hey P , already thought about that Flightleader position?' P grinned and answered: ' Hey , you know how I think about a Jedi going into officer rank in the imperial fleet.' Raider raised his hands. ' Alright , tell me if you change your mind.'

P hurried of the Cantina as fast politeness allowed and went to the hangar bay , where the new pilot was checking his ship. P leaned on the maintenace lid, looking at the two legs that hung out of the hole. ' Long ago , since I saw such an enthusiasm. ' He heard an 'ouch!' from the inside, then an dirty figure climbed out, holding his head. P grinned : ' You have to be the new Pilot... Pieboy , right?' The other one nodded. 'Okay, meet me in the Cantina if you want , and I can tell you some stories about the squad.' P waved and hurried out before Pieboy could say a thing.

Akkon’s report Regarding secret brewing facility

I´m back from my LOA and my mission was that secret, that i can´t tell much.
just a few things:
- i´m able to recognize each ski-run by taste in Saas Fee
- i designed a new tumbleing-down-style
- i did enjoy very much despite of all odds and didn´t miss you at all :-))

The inhabitants thought things couldn´t become worse after Raider´s leaving but they didn´t know me yet!

:::"Would pieboyXtreme please report to the bridge immediately... thank you":::

PieboyXtreme was curious about what was going on but promptly began to execute his task. As pieboy made his way through the halls of his new command ship his was greeted by all sorts of alien life and veteran pilots. PieboyXtreme already felt like he has been in Pheonix for ages although he had been there for only a few days. That was until he stumbled across his recruiter... SCP_8ball... 8ball quickly made fun of pieboyXtreme for no particular reason when pieboyXtreme got very violent and started threatening the Lambda pilot with his samurai techniques. But 8ball didn't feel threatened becausse while all of this was happening pieboyXtreme failed to realize that they were in the pool hall and 8ball's lethal weapon was available all over... a cue stick!

Most of you don't know this but, once upon a time in a Lambda meeting a pilot that goes by the name of DarkRogue of the Omega squad tried spying on the squad's information, but 8ball quickly realized it and impaled the pilot with his lethal cue stick and continued to listen to the SL and play pool with blood still dripping from the tip of his weapon.

When pieboyXtreme realized of his situation he ran towards the nearest ladder to the upper level where the bridge was located... when pieboyXtreme got there short of breath and 8ball was following him everyone gasped then burst out laughing. They had burst out laughing for they had all planned the whole thing... then everyone sat down and had some rare imperial acoholic beverages stolen from Darth Vader himself.

Welcome to Pheonix pieboyXtreme - and Pheonix, welcome a new pilot full of talent! *S*

We are at full strength this WoW! Good Luck - and lets show TFA and the zone what Phoenix is made of!

Pilot Starke's battle cry

To all phoenixians I have composed a little poem for you to sing, FOR WE ARE THE PHOENIX......

We are the Phoenix, Fear us....
For we are the ones who shall rise from the ashes of war,

our burning might lighting the sky like a Billion stars.
Our FIERY Vengeance scorching Space with the corpses of our enemies,

and nothing ,nothing can stop the blazing Inferno that is us.

So in closing cry out with me...

BURN BABY BURN

GOOD WoW and Good luck to all

Pilot Starke

**Incoming garbled message***

***Begin Transmission***

From: Patrol vessel 'Lonely Pigeon'
To: Navy Frigate 'El Pollo Diablo'

\*SALUTE*/

[begin voice message]

This is ScP Fjap on board Lonely Pigeon hailing all on board El Pollo. Well its been almost two monts out here in the Fremche system and let me tell you its no fun. The most exiting things that have happened here are in this order: spilled coffie on floor in cocpit. Lost a left sock last month. Found a stray left sock yesterday. I am siting here and thinking what on earth have i done to deserve this? And let me tell you, nothing. Nothing can be sooo bad do deserve a four month shift in a system that consiters trees its most intelligent live forms. There are no sentinent creatures here and noone ever comes through here because there is nothing here that anybody wants. Well I shouldnt complain really...ohh wait I should....

So on other matters. Raider I am truly and terribly sorry, I really am. I mean I didnt know that my gloves would clog up the exhaust port on your T/I. It is all your fault really. I mean if only you hadn't been so eager to get off into space I would have finished my coffie and gotten those gloves. Besides my helmet was hanging off one of the laser cannons and you should have seen it. So again I can not take responsebility for when you fired that laser it fused the helmet with the cannon and melting your portside wing so it is all your fault that you were spinning in space.(It kinda refreshed my wiev on Imperial flight suits. I mean the helmet didnt disintigrate) I mean how was I supposed to go after you when you had my helmet and my gloves?? Ok I admit I thought you were just showing off flying in tight circles at maximum speed but we all thought that. Ask anybody. I admit though that it was my fault that the rescue shuttle sorta crashed on the hangar floor. You see it was my duty as shuttle pilot and when we realised somehing was wrong I ran into the shuttle (breaking all sorts of rules and regulations going in there not in full flight suit) with ther rest of the crew hot on my heels, tripped on somethign and hit the console (with my head. You had my helmet remeber? No one asked how MY head felt) that retracted the landing gear and the shuttle fell to the floor. It took us some time to get the shuttle out of the hangar and I can understand that you were feeling a little dizzy at the time we reached you. You thought of it as a torture but I think of it as a training. No one knows what can happen in battle so now you know what happens if your engine gets blown out and your wing partially destroyed. So let that be a lesson to you.

Well I have explained my point of wiew, which I wasnt allowed before. I was just sent off on a patrol in a lonely system with noone to talk to and nothing to see.

Please Raider can I come home now???
[end voice message]

Raider turns on the landing lights ...... - Please can Phoenix pilots see my orders within

Starke - can I suggest you move the Touro?
Fjap is well known for his - err - "perfect" landings.

Ace - can you move my new coke machine? It looks as if it might be in the way where it is - at the back of the hangar, in the corner - behind all the other craft. Maybe you could put it in the brig? It should be safe there.

O'Drick - can we remove the beer bottles and crates from FJap's parking bay? They can go into the cantina - as I am sure we wil have a reason for celebration soon.

Kokeeno, can you catch Fluffy and Jerry? Just keep them out the hangar.

The Duke - can you re-program the cleaning droids to searching for pigeon feathers 75% of the time? I think we will need have them looking for pigeon feathers once again.

Lord Pin - por favour - Una copa de té y un hanky - nuestro hombre de la paloma viene hogar.
(Please - a cup of tea and a hanky - our pigeon man is coming home.)

Meister - could you - err - perhaps - use your jedi powers to conceal the plant life on the Diablo? I think Fjap would appreciate not seeing any more trees.

Pieboy - can you find me a new helmet?

Fubar - can you find me a new wing for the damaged TI in the repair bay? The TI has sat their too long - and I am fed up with Lord hex's TF.

Da Potato - could I ask you to dust down Fjap's bunk? Please try not to spread the pigeon feathers around.

Rogue, Doomrider and Damage - please can you fly out and give Fjap an escort of honour back to the El Pollo Diablo. - But please keep your distance - call it "a wide escort of honour".

Raider wipes away a little tear as he looks out of the bridge at the Patrol vessel 'Lonely Pigeon' returning to the phoenix.

*MeisterP is using his jedi powers to get his conn to work longer than 1 minute*

Senior Pilot Ace1701E :- Coke machine moved to the brig as ordered. Prisoners put outside to make room, outside the ship. lol!

Raider: - Whoops ... I hope Fjap can avoid them on his final approach to land.

Fjap re-introduces himself

Have you any idea how hard it is to deal with windows on a laptop that operates in french? Im not being a mean bastard to France in general but I am Icelander that has never learnt any french so gimme a break.

Well well Im alive and the stories about my death are greatly exxaguratetet uhh blown out of prop..uhh a big fat lie. Are there any sig.. uhh important changes that I should know of? Other than Raider has been given clearance to do almost any thing to this squadron??

Ohh I forget to introduce myself. To all you new pilots in this squadron.

Im Fjap. An fully qualified Old Timer and been around since Raider was a lowly pilot and before that even. You might occasionally see a strange message postet in this comlink under my name. I have to admit writing them. Its a habit I cant breake. Its the pigeons you see. They talk to me. They tell me to write things even though I dont want to write them. Well I do want to write them but I dont like them to have the idea first. Im a poor pilot on and off the Zone so I try to stay out of that infernal pit of hell as much as I can. That is not true though. I just dont know. [if you dont understand what I just wrote that is allright I didn't understand it either] Well well just send me a ICQ msg if you want to talk to someone. I have to warn you though I tend to make little sence. And talk about pigeons most of the time. So if anyone is interestet in talking about pigeons and how to turn this squad into the dreaded pigeon squadron give me a buzz on ICQ

Looking forward seeing y'all soon.

Fjap Von Pigeonstein

***A lone, battered SPC settles right next to the El Pollo***

Few minutes later a shuttle goes to it and then back to the frigate. A man steps out of the shuttle and looks around. Couple of droids wander aimlessly around and make little irritatet beeping noises.

"I am sure that LtC Raider didnt mean that we should hunt down every single pigeon feather," one of them says. The other one chirps something back and suddenly it reaches onto its back and speeddraws a vacumcleaner nozzle. It takes aim and 'Whhhhoooop', one feather less in the galaxy. It looks smugly at the other droid and puts the nozzle up to its head and pretends to blow in to the muzzle. Fjap grins and sets off in search of his squadmates. He stops by his cabin and shudders at the ghastly pink colour that still adourns his walls. Looks like Amber was right, the paint just wouldn't come off. He walks through what seems to be an empty frigate. In the end he wanders into the briefing room and reads the orders of the day. He swears and is about to turn when he sees a man ambling down the corridor from the cantina. The man is singing an old song that has something to do with young maidens, large meadows and summer. It has a nasty ring to it and it seems that things are not going that great to the maiden. Fjap hurries after him and grabs his collar. The man lets out a surprised hiccup and looks blearily at Fjap.

"Whhadda, whooosa, vem??" He says when he focuses on Fjap.

"Hey dont I know you?" Asks Fjap.

"Well I dunno. Im not sure." The man looks around "I guess not. Or maybe." The man burbs and the unmistakable aroma of Duvels spring forth. Fjap swears.

"I know you. You are that guy that was caught during the pirate raid on the convoy in Balmorra system."

The man thinks for a while

"I am?" He asks

"Yes I am sure. You were supposed to go to jail in that system but they were overcrowded and you were put in the brig untill we found you a descent jail. How come you are alone on this ship??"

The man gruntles with effort. After a while of some olympic thinking he says. "Well it seems that the vending machine crossed the law to many times. It kept shortchanging people and it was thrown into the brig and me was thrown out. All of a suddend the ship got all worked up and pilots ran around shouting WOW, WOW. At what I dunno, maybe a big bug or something and then I was alone. I got lost for a while but ended up in the cantina." The man smiles, pleased with this almost continuous narrative. Fjap grabbed him tighter and shoutet into his face: "You mean there is a WOW??" Then he lets the man drop and sprints off towards the hangar. The man picks himself up and shakes his head.

"Boy this must be some kind of a bug to get them all worked up about it." Then he heads back to the cantina.

Senior Chief Pilot Fjap

OUR SECRET WEAPON HAS JUST BEEN SITED!!!!!

There is chaos in the enemy ranks!
Patrols are going missing!
Morale has plunged!

There is rumors of a ghost ship,
of a ghost squadron!

Even as we speak, enemy ships are being caught out and
TAKEN DOWN!

BURN BABY, B U R N !

Who is this secret weapon,
Who is this pilot that can turn WoW on it's head ......

He is finally here. Please welcome bxilo to Phoenix and FG I!

At Friday 20:00 CET WoW 34 scores

Its WoW report...
yes we made it ,we are currently 1st again ...

thank you all for flying and the great team spirit , it was a lot of fun ... Duke out :o)

Wing IV - Phoenix Squadron 9,635,360
Wing III - Gamma Squadron 9,477,794
Wing III - Kappa Squadron 8,028,176

Apocalypse                     3,789,164     # 69    57/12 4.75 189/18 10.50 2316 / 756/ 1485 1.81
Jodokast                         1,553,368     # 33    22/11 2.00 75/22 3.41 1017 / 261 / 836 1.37
Akkon                             1,037,252     # 42     26/16 1.62 64/61 1.05 585 / 397 /687 1.14
Ace1701                         1,024,554     # 54    11/43 0.26 23/135 0.17 703 / 367 /1804 0.49
Raider                             1,002,744     # 30    10/20 0.50 31/59 0.53 579 / 294 /842 0.86
The Duke                        635,988        # 26     9/18 0.50 25/52 0.48 351 / 188 /591 0.75
bxlio                                224,530        # 17     7/10 0.70 6/41 0.15 159 / 93 /398 0.52
Katarn                             199,972        # 6       5/1 5.00 8/8 1.00 142 / 47 /156 1.06
Damage                           104,724        # 7       1/6 0.17 2/19 0.11 58 / 40 /166 0.47
Starke                             35,814          # 3       0/3 0.00 1/8 0.12 30 / 20 /91 0.44
Grand_Moff_Keify          27,250          #1        0/1 0.00 0/3 0.00 19 / 7 / 35 0.64