GET COMFY

Starring CP Fjap

The seven Tie fighters circled the shuttle like small dogs. The shuttle began its final approach to the space port on Gandolo IV. As it landed and folded its wings, a low, ominous hiss could be heard from the opening door.

Steam curled round the front end of the shuttle and a small man clad in black robes stood in the door. He started to walk down the ramp and a group of nervous looking officials gathered at the end. Stormtroopers lined up behind them with weapons drawn and stood at attention. The little man reached the end of the landing ramp and the whole effect of the scene was ruined a little when he tripped in the hem of his ropes. He fell into the arms of the minister of agriculture, a large woman who looked like she could stop an Imperial Stardestroyer with barely a hint of effort. She caught him and hauled him, rather forcefully, back on his feet. The cowl of the man’s robe fell back to reveal a long, hooked nose but that was not the first people noticed about him. It was the large lump on the end of that long nose which drew the immediate attention. The nervous looking officials did not look so nervous now, much more like people who really, really need to use the restroom to get some peace and quiet place to hide in. The minister of Agriculture said in a voice that could probably make Vader uncomfortable

"Can’t you stand on your own feet man??" and with that she turned and still holding the little man in one hand walked briskly towards the hovercraft that waited nearby. The rest of the welcoming committee looked at one another and followed straining to suppress their laughter.

Flight group two from Phoenix squadron had watched the event with some disdain.

"The man is a blithering idiot," someone said and the rest of the flight group agreed. Lieutenant Richthofen looked sternly at his pilots,

"Even if he is, which is certainly true, this is not the way to talk about high ranking ambassadors from the Emperor".

"But he isn’t from the Emperor. He was merely appointed by the government on Sluis Van to get him out of the way." said Pilot Drice. "The Emperor doesn’t send stuttering, large nosed fools with the political skills of a Wookie in the mating season to conduct serious political matters!"

Again the flight group agreed and their Lieutenant said: "Well he’s out of our hands now for the time being so let’s find something to do".

They took a ride in an Imperial hovercraft and made their way to the centre of town. It was bustling with activity and strange smells, sounds and colours filled the large square.

"Oh look there’s a holotheatre there. I wonder what they are showing?" They all looked the way Willicus was pointing and went over to investigate. "Hey, they are running Durania." he shouted. "Lets go". They went to the ticket booth, all except Chief Pilot Fjap. He hated Durania, the holofilm about the largest passenger cruiser in the galaxy, which was hit by a meteor on its maiden voyage. He hated the story, the director and that little twerp who played the leading male role. What was his name again… oh yes, Raphael O’Winston. Fjap prided himself on his never having seen all of that movie. He’d seen the end once back on El Pollo Diablo and was glad to know that Raphael had died from lack of oxygen in space. He’d nearly applauded when he saw it but the rest of the squad had looked so serious about it that he didn’t dare.

Instead of going into the movie with the rest of his Flight Group, he ambled around and looked at the various types of merchandise in the strange stalls. He saw a great of souvenirs but decided against buying any when he remembered that Tie Fighters weren’t designed with storage space in mind. A large glass bowl full of smoke, which changed colours several times a minute, would definitely not fit into it. Nor would a stuffed head of the famous yellow bearded snow boar. Instead he decided to go back to the spaceport and be what Commander Stele had told them to be: ‘The people’s link to the Imperial Navy’, which meant walk around and talk to people that wanted to know something about the Navy. Usually those who came by were simpleminded natives who didn’t know left from right and the idea of space and large vessels cruising around in it was far beyond their limited imagination. Worst were the little boys. They asked too many awkward questions, like: "How long does it take to die from oxygen depravation?" Or, "Have you ever killed a Rebel and what did he look like? Is it true all rebels are 3 meters high and have large fangs that dripped venom? Then how did you kill him?"

When Fjap arrived at the Spaceport and made his way to the docking port, he saw three little boys standing with their noses pressed against the fence. A couple of stormtroopers stood nearby, looking like they were ready to shoot them to pieces in the blink of an eye. A sergeant was shouting at the boys.

"You bugger off, you little brats or I’m gonna blast you to pieces!" The boys looked remarkably calm, given the fact that Blaster rifles were being pointed at them. One of them said

"There is no need to shout man. All I said was that I thought those suits that you wear do as much good as a guitar to a Gamorrean." Fjap groaned and said to the Sergeant

"Ok I’ll take it from here." The sergeant looked at him and huffed.

"I ought to blast at least one of them. That way the rest will keep quiet." The sergeant thought about it for a few seconds and Fjap could sense that he liked the idea more and more. Fjap hurriedly forbade him to blast them, grabbed the boys and went into the docking port heading for the PR section. There stood a gleaming Tie Fighter. Well, not really gleaming, with its grey tones, but, well…

Fjap began his prefabricated speech about the Tie Fighters. The little boys listened politely for a few minutes as Fjap droned on. Suddenly one of them said

"My brother says that everyone in the Navy ought to get their heads scanned." Fjap faltered in the lecture.

"Uhh why?"

"He says that the first type of Ties were when someone thought of the idea to strap jetpacks on Stormtroopers and throw them out into space to shoot at fighters." Fjap looked at the boy

"Oh does he really?"

"Yes and he says that there hasn’t been much of improvement. You only got better seats." The boy giggled.

"Well people say so many things." Fjap said and felt to his dismay that he was moving into defensive position. The little boy kept on talking

"Does this two lasered-tin can have shields?" He questioned.

"Well, no’ Fjap replied.

"My brother’s craft has got shields. Does this craft have a hyperdrive?"

Fjap felt his dislike towards this family grow

‘No we don’t need one" said Fjap "We return to base when we are finished with the rebel scum."

"My brother’s craft has got hyperdrive and more laser cannons and a missile launcher." Fjap’s dislike grew more. The brother must be a freighter pilot and possibly a smuggler too. Fjap decided to try to put the little boy’s brother down and said

"Well, most freighters are quite fast and heavily armed to defend from attack."

"My brother doesn’t fly a freighter." The boy replied. "He flies a big ship, compared to this little piece of tin foil, with wings that look like a X." Fjap felt something hit his stomach. He looked sharply at the boy.

"He flies a what?"

"A X-wing. And he’s a very good pilot, probably better than you. He was telling me that last month he and his friends blew up some big ship and a lot of little ships like this piece of tin!" The boy kicked the Tie Fighter, denting it.. Fjap went numb all over now and he turned away when his craft had stopped rocking. The little boy was describing an ‘incident’ which was supposed to have been kept quiet. The boy pulled at Fjap’s trouser leg.

"He’s here on the planet right now with a couple of his friends."

"He is?" Fjap’s eyes widened.

"Yes, and I’m gonna tell him about you and this stupid craft of yours." With that he turned a started to walk out of the hangar with his friends.

"Wait a minute!" Fjap shouted. "What is he doing here?" The boy turned

"I dunno. He said something about redoing the Toprawa thing on what he called an old scow hanging in orbit. Fjap didn’t have to think very hard to see that the El Pollo Diablo was their next target. Fjap knew he had to get to his Flight Leader as soon as possible to find out what to do. The ‘Toprawa incident’ was then the rebels caught up with an Imperial convoy ferrying spare parts for the Victory Star Destroyer Gladiator. They caught the convoy its escort unaware and virtually defenseless, save a couple of ageing Tie Fighters. The Gladiator has been blown to smithereens.

The Navy was trying to forget this unfortunate ‘incident’ and had ordered a cover up of the report.

Fjap had to stop the boy before he could relate the conversation to his brother but he didn’t know what to do. He could kill him but that would involve too much paperwork and fuss. Perhaps he could get the troopers to ‘deal with them’. Fjap looked around for them but couldn’t see them. They were probably smoking somewhere out of sight.

"Oh boys, wait up a bit." The boys stopped and turned.

"You guys haven’t seen the inside of a Tie have you?" The boys looked at one another and thought about it. Then they came back. Their faces lit up

"Can we?" One of them asked.

"Sure come on." replied Fjap. He lifted them up on the loading elevator, bundled them all inside the fighter and slammed the canopy shut. Inside he could hear the boys complaining about being cramped but it was soon replaced with sounds of heavy space fighting that only three little boys could make. Fjap jumped down and looked around. He saw a technician walk by and called him over. The tech looked at the Tie suspiciously and listened for a while.

"Who’s inside?" he asked.

"Three little boys, you have to make sure they stay there until I come back." The tech. backed away a bit.

"What!" he exclaimed. "I can’t do that. I’ve got work to do!"

"Yep" Fjap replied lightly "To watch the Tie and the boys."

"No, no you’ve got it all wrong" said the tech. "I’m supposed to be checking Lord Flimmer’s shuttle." Fjap waved a hand in dismissal.

"This is much more urgent", he said, "Lord Flimmer’s shuttle can wait. Inside this Tie are three of the most cunning spies on Gandolo IV. Right now you must keep an eye on them." The technician looked awed. He leaned closer and whispered to Fjap

"Spies you say? Are they dangerous?"

"Extremely" Fjap whispered back. "Don’t let them get out of the Tie under any circumstances. Guard them with your life" The tech looked flustered. He drew a vicious looking hydrospanner out of his pocket and nodded gravely.

Fjap ran out of the docking port and straight for the next hovercraft. A lonely looking port authority man sat in it, looking at some cargo documents. He sighed and looked bored when Fjap jumped into the car and shouted;

"In the name of the Imperial navy I am taking this craft!" The man looked startled and started to protest, but Fjap shoved him to the side, jumped into the drivers seat and sped towards the city.

They raced through narrow streets towards the Holotheatre where the rest of the Flight Group were watching ‘Durania’. When they reached the theatre Fjap jumped out and commanded the man to keep the engine warm. Confusion sailed across the man’s face as he scrambled towards the controls. Fjap ran into the theatre and headed for where ‘Durania’ was being shown. A ticket droid stepped in front of him and requested a ticket.

"I don’t have a ticket but I really need to see a man in that room!" The droid snorted. "That’s what they all say. No ticket, no admittance."

"Do you know who I am?" asked Fjap.

"No and I don’t care. You are just another one trying to sneak in. If you want to get in you have to buy a ticket. If not I will call security and have them remove you." Fjap searched in his pocket for money to buy a ticket but found that he had been robbed. It was probably those blasted little boys who had done it. Fjap swore and turned to the droid and tried his most menacing voice.

"If you don’t let me in I’ll rip your arm off and smash your stupid head in!"

"Touch me and you’ll get a nasty surprise." The droid looked like it was grinning. "I am charged with almost 5000 volts, I’ll fry you hand off if you try anything." Fjap looked wildly around and decided to make a run for it. He jumped over the low rope separating him from the room where Durania was showing.

He stopped dead when the ticket droid yelled "Security!" and began to transform. Fjap saw the tag on the droid’s chest turn from ‘Tickets’ to ‘Security’and the ticket and money holder folding into its lower abdomen. But that wasn’t the worst part. One of the droid’s arms unfolded, revealing a rather large blaster.

"STOP!" it demanded, in a voice amplified a hundred times. Fjap froze, mesmerised at the blaster. "Come back here with your hands in the air and you better be waiving some money for a ticket while you’re at it." Fjap raised his hands and started to walk back. As he did, an elderly lady approached the droid and tapped it on the shoulder.

"Excuse me where can I get tickets to the children’s show?" She asked in a sweet voice. The droid, programmed to make money and not to kill the audience (bad business you see), transformed back into a ticket droid and said, in a how-may-I-help-you-voice

"Right here". Fjap seized the opportunity

and crept in to the audience. Inside there was almost total darkness. In the centre of the room Raphael was twerping around the Durania and acting particularly obnoxiously. Fjap looked around the room and located his Flight Leader sitting amongst his Flight Group and was trying to get their attention when the doors burst open and the security droid came through. The droid scanned the audience and quickly targeted Fjap.

"You there, stand still or I’ll fire my weapon." A bright spotlight shone from the droid illuminating Fjap, who stood very still. He risked a quick glance toward Lieutenant Richthofen who sat still watching the movie because Durania was breaking apart in space and Raphael and his girlfriend were trying to get to the life pods. They didn’t succeed. Fjap looked again. Were those tears he saw in his Flight Leader’s eyes? No, that would never happen! Must be something he got in his eye. The droid moved closer to Fjap

"It is too late for you my son. This will be the end of your pitiful little rebellion against the ticket regime!" With that it extended a mechanical arm, seized Fjap by the collar and lifted him off the floor. Suddenly another voice called out

"Fjap, what in the galaxy have you gotten your self into?"

"I’m not sure sir," gurgled Fjap, "All I know is that I really, really need to talk to you."

Outside , Lieutenant Richthofen listened to Fjap’s story and asked some questions.

"An old scow? He dared to call our frigate an old scow!" Richthofen looked angry. "We must alert Commander Stele and the other Flight Groups." He took out a comlink and tried, unsuccessfully, to hail the frigate. He tried again but all he got was static. "Hmm," he noted, "something is terribly wrong here." Fjap agreed. "Do you have a transport standing by?’ asked the Lieutenant.

"Yes sir, it is right here."

"Good we need to get to the spaceport immediately." They ran out of the holotheatre and jumped into the hovercraft that Fjap had arrived in, the other Flight Group two pilots continued to watch the holomovie. The man still sat at the contrreevingeving the engine and keeping the engine warm.

"Drive" commanded Richthofen and they took off in a dust cloud.

"Uhh where to?" the driver asked.

"To the spaceport you moron." They came to the spaceport after driving through, over and into a lot of stalls at the market. By the end of the ride they had gotten at least half a dozen death wishes and an equal number of curses on their families, dogs, friends and species. Lieutenant Richthofen went into the Navy communications centre that was based at the spaceport and Fjap followed.

"We need to get in touch with the El Pollo Diablo now!" He shouted as soon as he came into the communications room

"Wait a minute! Who are you two clowns, thinking you can barge into my centre and start making demands?" That voice came from a tall communications officer. He was large, loud and lazy but he loved regulations and formalities, which made him perfect for his job. In his mind he sure as hell was not going let a lowly Lieutenant and a pathetic Chief pilot commandeer his station.

"This is a emergency. We believe that the frigate is in danger!"

"Ohh is that so. And you have to come in here to share it with us, how thoughtful of you. Now I suggest that you two state your rank, Flight Group, Squadron, Wing and business."

"I’m Lieutenant Richthofen, Flight Leader of Flight Group two of Phoenix Squadron. We’re from Wing IV of the Tie Fighter Alliance. This is Chief Pilot Fjap who is in my Flight Group. We need to get through to our frigate, El Pollo Diablo. She is in standard patrol orbit above Gandolo IV."

"Thank you" said the officer, "much better but I’m afraid that isn’t possible. You see, our comm grid is down but I’m sure it will be fixed soon. Now I want you two out of here so we can get back to work."

And with that he ushered Fjap and Richthofen out of the centre and out in to the street. Richthofen looked around and said

"The rebels must have sabotaged the comm grid so the frigate couldn’t get help from ground batteries." He turned and looked at Fjap, "You must go to the frigate to warn the Commander and the other Flight Groups." Fjap swallowed

"Who me?"

"Yes, you. I cant go off the planet while the ambassador is still here and the rest offlight groupgroup is still in town so you’re the only one left. Take one of the spare Ties. I’m not gonna say it again, GO!"

Fjap turned and ran.

The trip up to the frigate was an uneventful one. Heavy freighter traffic cluttered the skies and Fjap saw a long line of Modular conveyors with class E containers heading for the space port. Far ahead the El Pollo Diablo loomed and Fjap felt pride rush through him, knowing that he was probably saving her. When he came near he saw Flight Groups one and three rushing out of the hangar and when they passed him someone waved. He docked and cranked the loud speaker in his helmet up without taking the helmet off solife supportpport still pumped oxygen into it. He crept up to a docking crew foreman and said with his best Vader imitation.

"I wish to see Commander Stele, NOW!" The man froze and said without turning "y-yes Sir. Immediately Sir. At once Sir". The foreman ran toward a computer console and grabbed a intercom mic. He looked around the hangar and confusion came over him. He saw that his crew members were all rolling with laughter and then he noticed Fjap standing holding his stomach. The man’s face flustered with rage and he walked slowly back to Fjap, trembling with anger. He pointed his finger

"You are gonna pay for this. You…you…." He stuttered and spat. Fjap saw that a hasty withdrawal was the best solution. Fjap hurried to an elevator and took it to the bridge.

He saluted as he entered the bridge and went immediately to Squadron Leader Stele and Lieutenant Rookie, the Executive Officer, who stood looking at a screen. Fjap saw that they were watching a large map of the space around Gandolo IV. Small green spots were circling around a mining colony on a huge asteroid, several red spots were heading towards them.

Stele saluted Fjap curtly

"Fjap, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you down on the planet with the rest of your Flight Group? Don’t tell me you did something wrong and were sent up again?" Stele looked sternly at Fjap.

"Uh no sir, actually I’m bringing grave news." He told Stele in brief, short and to the point sentences, what he had learned from the boy, added the com grid problems and ended by asking where the fighters were going. Stele turned away from the screen, apparently in deep thought but Rookie told Fjap what was going on.

"Several rebel fighters came out of hyperspace and attacked this mining colony. We sent the other flight groups to deal with it." Fjap turned to Stele,

"Do you think that this could be a trap sir?" Stele frowned, considering the situation

"It could be a move to lure our fighters away from the frigate, but we really didn’t have much choice because there were too many fighters for one Flight Group to deal with" Suddenly a light started flashing and a warning signal chimed in. A sensor operator called out

"Sir, six rebel starfighters have launched from the planet and are heading this way. We have…three Y-wings and three X-wings sir"

"Ok call Group two off the planet and alert ground batteries." Stele’s voice was crisp and snappy.

"Unable to comply sir. The space port com grid is down and the turbolasers on the ground are not responding. As for Flight Group two they are blocked in by several class-E containers." They looked at the screen and saw the containers hovering directly above the hangar where the Ties were docked. A lot of smoke drifted from a heavy lifter after what seemed to be a crash with one of the Modular Conveyors Fjap had seen on his way to the frigate.

"Damn!" Stele cursed. Fjap told me about the com station, but I didn’t expect the rebels to sabotage the turbolasers and hanger! Those Y-wings will blast the frigate to space rubble if they get close enough." Stele looked at Fjap and Rookie. "Well gentlemen, it is up to us now."

"Uhh sir what do you mean?’ asked Rookie cautiously.

"I mean" Stele replied, "that we will have to fly out to meet those fighters and blow them away before they will blow us away. The frigate is a sitting duck here with the main systems on standby. It will take too long to arm turbolasers and raise the shields. We have to buy ourselves some time." He turned to the communications officer, "Call the hangar and tell them to ready my Tie Advanced. We’ll also need one for Lieutenant Rookie as well and one for Fjap." Fjap paled.

"Sir a Tie Advanced? I’ve never flown that craft in combat and barely at all in the simulator." Rookie looked ill at ease as well.

"Sir, you know I havn’t flown much lately either. Maybe-

"‘That is enough! I gave you an order and last time I checked they weren’t open for discussion." Stele pretended to read something from a screen. "Nope they haven’t." He flashed Rookie and Fjap a quick smile and said "Come on lets save this old scow. She ain’t no Stardestroyer but she’s ours and no big rebel brother is gonna blow her out of the sky while I’m around"

As they flew in a row out of the hangar, Fjap could not keep his hands from trembling a little. A Tie Advanced and he was flying it. It was Ltn Richthofen’s personal craft, although he had been flying a line Tie during the escort.

"Fjap where are you?" Stele’s voice sounded happy over the comlink.

"I’m right behind you sir"

"Why are you rolling the craft like that?’

"I’m not sure sir. It just does."

"Ok but stop it right now. That’s an order and watch out, these ties are more sensitive than your average armed grav-couch." Stele was actually enjoying himself. ‘How are you holding out Rookie?’

"Fine sir, just fine. Boy it’s good to be back out here. WHHOIE.’ Fjap didn’t feel the same thing as his commanding officers. He strained to keep the Advanced Tie flying in a straight line and listened to Stele and Rookie joking over the comlink. Suddenly a voice cut in.

"Sir is that you? What are you doing out here?" Asked Desmoquattro, Leader of Flight Group one.

"Well me, Rookie and Fjap are outside the cramped bridge for a stroll. Maybe we’ll see some action as well." Rookie agreed and Fjap felt dizzy when they both laughed at that. "But seriously, a few rebels are trying to shoot the frigate down and we are gonna ask them, not nicely, not to do it." He laughed and then said irritably "Stop that rolling Fjap."

"Yes sir."

"Sir?? A few rebels? They are heading for the frigate!" Ltn Kurtje of Flight Group three stated.

"Yep and don’t you worry about a thing. Just keep those other fighters occupied while we get rid of the ones here." Stele replied.

"What about Group two sir?" Desmo cut in "Are they going after them too?"

"No, they can’t get off the planet yet. Some filthy rebel planted a couple of containers over their hangar. Then, almost casually, he asked "By the way, how are things going over there?"

"Well the rebs are bugging out and we are trying to cut them off. Kurt and his men are following while we get ahead them. This should be a easy matter. It’s just a couple of X-wings and some Y-wings. We tangled with a couple of A-Wings but it’s nothing serious" Desmo laughed. "Boy I bet that Richty is down there swearing his helmet off knowing he can’t get up there to help you. Anyhow, we’ll be with you in a short while sir.’

"Ok you just do a good job like you always do and we’ll be finished here before you get back.’ Stele and Rookie laughed. Fjap didn’t. "Whats up Fjap? Is something wrong? You are awfully silent and please stop rolling the craft like that. You are making me queasy just looking at you."

"Sir the rolling is not my idea and yes there is something wrong. I’m not very happy here."

"Why not? We are saving the frigate and you are flying the best ship the Imperial Navy can offer. Oh and congratulations, the rolling has stopped but your’re weaving like a drunk stormtrooper, why is that?’

"Ehmm Richthofen is a bit bigger than me so I’m trying to get comfortable in here and reach all the controls."

"Well done Fjap. I knew you’d come around. I like that kind of thinking, get comfy in your craft before a battle, he he." Stele giggled again but suddenly his voice filled with ice. "Ok, we are coming into range. Rookie, you go after the Y-wings and make sure they don’t launch torpedoes at my frigate

"Me and Fjappie will go after the X-wings to keep you covered. We’ll fly past them and try to get on their rear. Fjap, follow me and stay close." The three Ties split up and Rookie flew on a intercept course toward the Y-wings while Fjap and Stele headed for the X-wings. The Y-wings split up, with one of the X-wing following them. The other two X-wings prepared to meet Stele and Fjap head on.

"Look out Rookie!" shouted Stele. "That X-wing pilot is gonna give you a hard time while you deal with the Y-wings. "Fjap, lets split and try to draw them away from the Y-wings." As they shot off in different direcrealizedap realised with horror that he was almost alone. He saw a X-wing head for him and did what he was used to doing with his Tie Fighter, weave, dodge and fire hirealizedHe realised soon that that probably was a mistake. The four laser cannons of his craft sprayed burst of fire but none came close enough to the X-wing and the jerks and fast evasion of the craft made it almost impossible to aim correctly. Then he remembered, it was a shielded craft he was flying and he could meet the X-wing in a head on! It was too late. He overshot the rebel but made an impossibly fast with threw him against the padded seat of his fighter. The craft lurched and shot forward. When Fjap had gotten himself into position behind the controls again he found himself behind the rebel. ‘I have you now’ though Fjap, and he fired. The shields of the rebel craft withered away and something exploded inside the X-wing. He saw that he’d histabilizer stabiliser and the X-wing rolled uncontrollably to dive into the planet’s atmosphere. There it burned up and Fjap couldn’t but help wondering if that was the little boy’s brother.

"Fjap look up!" As he heard Stele’s shout, his fighter shook violently. The other X-wing had tried to come to his partner’s rescue and was now playing the same game that Fjap had played.

"If you are gonna sit and watch your enemy burn make sure you are the only one left!" Stele sounded excited. Fjap saw his shield status go rapidly down and felt his craft shudder again. He threw himself against the controls.

The T/A rolled and went in a tight arc towards the planet. He saw that the X-wing had lost him for a while so he scrambled for the stick to turn his craft around. He flew past the X-wing and saw that Stele had everything under control. A large explosion filled the cabin with light and the X-wing was no more. "Let’s go and help Rookie" Stele said. They headed toward the Y-wings, who had broken off their attack run on the Imperial frigate. Rookie was having a really hard time. He’d shot one of the Y-wings down but now he was in a crazed dogfight with the remaining X-wing while the other Y-wings were getting away and preparing to come about and target the frigate again. Green and red fire played across space but no one hit their target.

"This rebel scum is good. I’ll help Rookie while you finish the Y-wings off." Stele ordered. Fjap took a wide swing round the combatants and was soon in range of the Y-wings. He saw the dots on his sensors move back and forth and saw the green dot suddenly disentangle it self and move fast towards the centre of his rear sensor display. Fjap managed to squeeze off a few shots at the Y-wings before he had to start dodging the X-wing. He poured laser energy into his shields and prepared for the worst. A few hits shook the craft but none were serious. "Fjap, concentrate on the heavy bombers and we’ll deal with this clown here." Fjap found it very hard to concentrate on anything with the "clown" hanging on his tail like a bad reputation but orders were orders and Stele was his Commander. He shut down his shields thinking about the need for speed and left the X-wing in a trail of space dust. He quickly overtook the Y-wings but, then again, what doesn’t. The X-wing broke off the pursuit. Instead it turned to face Stele and Rookie, trying to keep them away from the fun. Fjap was suddenly alone again. He made a move at one the Y-wings and merrily started to hammer the shields on it to pieces. They broke off the attack and turned around.

"They are trying to get away sir" he reported. "Shall we let them?"

"Fjap, are you on drugs or something? Of course not. Why do you think we came out here? Nice shooting Rookie he’s down to 16% shields.’

"Thank you sir. Excellent move sir, these rebels are so slow that there is no way he’s gonna get ahead of you." Fjap followed the Y-wings and tried to decide which one he should destroy first. "Oh who cares" he muttered and four laser cannons spelled out the deaths of two more rebel pilots while Rookie and Stele made sure there was one, know-it-all big brother, fewer in the galaxy.

THE END

Author: CP Fjap

Editors: Ltn Rookie and LtC Piett

The Author and Editors have done their best to ensure the accuracy and currency of all information in Get Comfy. All information is current to 29/7/99 and we can accept no responsibility for any loss or inconvenience sustained by any reader as a result of its information or advice.